Lev Lafayette's journal

In lieu of an actual pushbike (my last one fell apart) I've taken up the exercise bike in the past month. Almost every day, across two cities and four different devices (fortunately, all a Matrix U1XE), I've smashed out 40km, which is the Olympic-distance triathlon bike leg, which sits in the middle of the standard course (1.5km swim, 40km bike, 10km run). Of course, the real challenge is doing these in succession. Nevertheless, ever a keen cyclist, my first times were around 70 minutes, which is pretty good, especially for an old bloke. After a few days and a bit more pushing, I found that I could regularly get around the 65-minute mark, and I was pretty chuffed when I got it down to 62 minutes.

Since my return to Melbourne from Darwin, I've continued the activity, and since then, I've even managed to get 60, 59, and 58-minute levels, all of which are extremely good. My method is pretty straightforward; get my speed to 40km/h and stay at that for an hour. In case you're wondering, yes, it is quite challenging, to say the least. Indeed, on a 58-minute run, I realised that my eyes were incredibly bloodshot. Apparently, I was experiencing a subconjunctival haemorrhage; that is, when blood vessels have burst and are haemorrhaging into the tissue under the white of the eye. It sounds and looks a lot more dramatic than it actually is, and one recovers fairly quickly. But by goodness, it really caught my attention!

Ever a data nerd, I have a bit of a rough habit of tracking some core measurements, albeit with a rough cut. I'm pretty happy with these results. But there's still some work to do.

October 1st, 2024: 117cm chest, 114 cm stomach, 112 cm waist. 105.7kgs. WHtR 0.62
February 8th, 2025: 118cm chest, 103 stomach, 102 waist. 94.9kgs. WHtR 0.57
August 20th, 2025: 110cm chest, 92 stomach, 96 waist. 84.8kgs. WHtR 0.47
September 11th 2025: Heart and Blood Pressure 118/75 46bpm

"Fast beat the feet / Fast fall the hands / The pulse is alive / Making me sane / Let your body learn /
Let your body build"

In the past few months, I have shed about 15kg. Back then, I had good reason for a "bon vivant" lifestyle and had become quite lackadaisical in looking after my fitness, and I am aware of how easily I can slip into hedonistic and epicurean pleasures, resulting in the greatest level of chonkiness that I've had for quite a few years. I made a modicum of effort to bring this under control, but it has been in the past month I have imposed a stricter regimen that has become the new normal in my life. Every day I find myself exercising for approximately two hours across the day, a combination of jogging and aerobics in the morning, cycling (Albert Park is particularly pleasant this time of year) in the middle of the day, and weights in the late afternoon. Just to focus my mind even further and suffer some punishment, I have also decided to join a local sǎndǎ (the Chinese equivalent of MMA) group, who surprised me by being quite accepting of my age and size. My objective is still to lose a further 10kg and arc up the rate of my activities; I am, of course, constrained by time. If I do 20km an hour cycling at the moment, I want to be able to do 25km by next month, and so forth. Because incremental gains in life are typical and rapid gains are extraordinarily rare, successful improvements are predicated on dedication.

Naturally enough diet has a big part to play as well, and I've been tracking that very carefully. Metabolism slows down by the mid-twenties, and sarcopenia, the loss of muscle mass, begins to occur a few years after that, often increased by changes in lifestyle. Unless one keeps their fitness in at least some semblance of good activity (and I'm very grateful that I had both the ability, mentality, and foresight to do so) by the time a person is in their fifties there will be significant issues with calcium and vitamin D, vitamin B12, etc. As journaled a fortnight ago, I had taken the path of cutting out alcohol for a month and restricting it to once a month after that. This has made a difference as well, and I am slightly surprised by how little I missed it. Tonight, however, is going to be a bit different; I'm pleased to be hosting the "All Saints' Day" cocktail party for residents and friends of two particular households of Stawell Street, Burnley and Rushall Crescent, North Fitzroy from the mid-1990s to early-2000s. Some of the people attending tonight haven't seen each other for thirty years or more, and others have stayed in touch as loyal and true friends.

The month of Mars has begun, and I've attacked it like an angry bear (or maybe a bear on cocaine, to reference the contemporary weird movie). Every waking moment is spent plowing through work, finishing my psychology degree, and starting the climate science degree, as I knew would be the case. I have completed all the essential readings for the final unit of my psychology degree, even though it is only the first week, and have made a solid start on the first assignment (due next month), which is on the social construction of individual identity. Also like an angry bear I'm engaging in a strict dietary and exercise regimen (with control days of course), which acts as a bit of a mood stabiliser as well as having obvious physical health benefits. It is, of course, all symptoms of a type of situational driven dysthymia, functional and despairing I fight the ills of the world without and within, in recognition and acceptance that this is just part of my innate temperament rather than developed character, even if "anxiety and depression are inevitable symptoms of awareness and care", as my friend Robert Baker wrote to me last year.

The new climate change science and policy master's degree at Wellington University is looking fine, with the first trimester covering climatology, political economy, economics, and environmental law. Reviewing the material there doesn't seem to be any enormous surprises in content or assessment, and the quality of the lectures and reading material is excellent. By now everyone who is remotely capable of evaluating the science must know that global temperatures are increasing, that it is overwhelmingly caused by human activity, and the rate of change is dangerous. It is worth reconsidering Mark Lynas' summary from fifteen years ago on our degree-by-degree march to climatic disaster. An overlooked snapshot of this is the Earth's albedo, the proportion of the solar radiation that is reflected back to space. In 1976 the composer Vangelis released an album called Albedo 0.39 - which was the value for Earth at the time. It is now down to 0.3, primarily because there is less ice and snow covering the surface. As once quipped, climate change is the greatest moral challenge of our time - literally nothing else is more important. Sadly all too few realise how bad the situation is, and how divorced the world's ruling class is from this reality. As Herodotus observed: "This is the bitterest pain among men, to have much knowledge but no power."

Three days ago I played host for an in-between Christmas and NYE gathering for Rob and Angela L., and Liana F. It was really a wonderful gathering. Rob and Liana are both Perth migrants to Melbourne from some time ago, a similar scene back in the day, but had never met. It was the first time I had met Angela as well, and she left quite an impression with her sparkling intelligence. Rob was kind enough to bring along some of his gin from his small batch brewery, Rookwood. It was an afternoon of wonderful conversation, drinks, and food.

Alas, that evening I fell quite sick. My extremities were cold, my torso warm, and my body shaking. Was it food poisoning (no one else was affected)? Was it alcohol poisoning (I had a grand total of two drinks)? Perhaps I was pregnant (it wasn't that sort of party)? In any case, I spent that evening in a very bad state and threw up several times in the course of the night, and have basically spent nearly all waking moments since then in bed recovering, drinking gallons of water in the process.

But as it never rains but pours, last night I received a message from Erica H., that she'd fallen at Perth airport and had done some serious damage to her finger, probably dislocation. Arriving early in the morning today involved a visit to a GP, then to the Alfred Hospital where X-rays confirmed a dislocation rather than a break. With the application of some local anaesthetic, they popped it back in, wrapped it up, and sent her on her way.

There were quite a few things that I had planned to do between Xmas and NYE, but circumstances appear to have gotten in the way. I wish everyone who spends the time to read this a happy and safe new year, and I sincerely wish you all the best for the coming year. Goodness knows we've all been through a lot over the past few years and for those who have come out relatively unscathed, let us look to the coming year with optimism, and with sympathy to those who haven't fared so well.

I've spent the past couple of days off recovering from a minor cold, a negative RAT reducing concerns that it could have been the dreaded 'rona. Australia, having decided to "live with the virus" after reaching a low vaccination threshold now is seeing the effects. On December 31, the country had 2353 deaths due to COVID-19; now we're up to 7794 and growing. One wonders at what point we realise that this is not over and that vaccination plus some social distancing measures are required. I now have a number of friends that are in isolation because of it, one of whom I must admit I was very concerned about as it hit them pretty hard. Fortunately, they now seem to be on the path to recovery, but not without a feverish few days (and a rather scary related injury). Whilst many will get only moderate effects, whether due to initial viral load, the strain of the virus, or their immune system response, I readily admit to being a little risk-averse by disposition.

On a related matter last Sunday I gave an address to the Melbourne Unitarian-Universalist Fellowship, "We Are What We Do: Emotions, Trauma, and Happiness". The transcript includes several links to points I made which, of course, one cannot elaborate on in the actual presentation. Nevertheless, the round-table discussion that followed afterward was very valuable. Along the same trajectory the following day I finished my second assignment for my psychology degree which was on Maori health models, which is far more holistic than the effective split between psychology (clinical, positive) and sociology; I took up Te Pae Mahutonga as an example for study.

A few days ago I wrote a piece about the storm that kicked off in the election about minimum wage payments which, apart from the economics, it strikes me as lacking in empathy to tell such workers that they're good enough to be classified as "essential workers", get the highest rates of infection and lowest rates of health care, but are not deserving of an extra $1 per hour to live on (the actual debate comes down to 38c per hour). Now the latest suggestion is that young people can divest the minimal superannuation that they have to transfer wealth to those who own property, rather than addressing the main issue of land (no, not housing) prices. Economists universally agree that this will lead to higher home prices and that superannuation is a better investment anyway, which makes this either (a) a complete brain-fart or (b) a stealthy attempt to transfer intergenerational money from the young poor to the older rich. Guess which one I think it is?

The highlight of the past few days was attending a Lunar New Year party hosted by tabouli. It was mostly attended by her friends in Toastmasters and a writing group, which were all lovely company and with cherry conversation. I've even made a couple of new friends out of the event. Tabouli really provided a wonderful reading of "The Great Race: The Story of the Chinese Zodiac", a children's book on the story of how the Lunar calendar was established and proved her ability to mimic and roleplay the sounds of the various animal characters. We were also introduced to the low-complexity party game, Taboo by Tiffany; a good vocabulary is certainly helpful. Tabouli also conducted private I Ching and Tarot readings in the course of the evening which, as useful, could prove quite insightful. Of course, the insight is provided is that such tools tap into one's unconscious. One has already been thinking deeply about a particular situation and even has an answer mapped out. The cards simply provide the bridge between conscious realisation and unconscious reflections.

On further lunar matters, I was recently alerted to a report that Adam Smith Institute has suggested selling the moon to combat global poverty. As if that's the only way to do it. It is a rather ironic argument seeming that Adam Smith was a steadfast advocate for maximum land taxation which, of course, groups like the Adam Smith Institute abuse the name and do not argue for. I rather suspect that they do not share Adam Smith's view of the legal fiction of corporate personhood, either. Such arguments for the complete privitisation of natural resources are quite antithetical to genuine capitalism, as the early economists knew, and instead, it is a type of monetary feudalism. Most modes of production start off as revolutionary, then become mainstream, and then become a fetter for future development. I would require more investigation but I suspect that capitalism is the first mode of production that actually goes backward as it develops beyond its highest point.

It has not all been fair sailing in my world, however. I have been getting some small, random, dizzy spells of late and a few of days ago one resulted in me misjudging a curb and falling to the ground. A couple of scrapes etc, and I'm otherwise fine. But then I start getting some rather bad headaches, almost like a migraine. It wasn't until late yesterday that I realised that part of my glasses was chipped, just on the periphery of my vision, which I suspect was the cause. So spare glasses are being used, new glasses have been ordered. As for the dizzy spells, I am going to see a doctor about those, but I have reason to believe that they are more psychological than physical (indeed, I hope that's the case). I learned some news last week which left me simultaneously quite uncomfortable and empty, not so much the content but rather the circumstances. I do not need to elaborate much further at this stage, but it is worth mentioning apropos that through work I've enrolled in a Mental Health First Aid course: Iatre, therapeuson seauton.

After a couple of joyous journal entries, the wheel turns to one more grim. Several years ago I experienced a bad case of cellulitis on my lower legs. I eventually visited the doctor who, with some concern, conducted blood tests and dosed me up antibiotics to prevent it from developing into necrotizing fasciitis. Their wise advice was that next time anything like this should happen again I should visit the doctor as soon as possible. What they didn't say was how to treat my limbs in the meantime. So for years, at the first potential sign of infection, I've applied betadine, rubbing alcohol, etc. This has worked in that regard, but earlier this week I've had another case of cellulitis come up. I went straight to the doctor who provided more antibiotics and recommended the exact opposite in terms of topical ointments. Apparently, the skin in my lower leg gets particularly dry and brittle, so instead of worrying about secondary infections, I now have a mountain of powerful moisturising creams to prevent breaks in the skin in the first place.

As part of the parcel, however, I also have a chronic wound on my left ankle, and on my next visit in a week's time, a biopsy will be conducted to determine the possibility of a cancerous ulcer. I quickly add that I'm rather phlegmatic about this, partially because of the cascading elements required for this to be a matter of major concern. Even if it is a cancer, it is probably a distal skin cancer that has a very high survival rate. If, and only if, it is a bone cancer or has affected by lymph nodes will I have to revisit the concerns. Partially also because I've spent so much consideration of mortality issues in the first place. To paraphrase Felix Adler, the bitter yet merciful possibility has motivated me towards what is significant in life, with only modest distractions towards trivialities.

One thing that has come to mind however is the dire need to update my will, if only for the matter of contingency. The last one I wrote out was in 2002, just prior to my year in Timor-Leste. As can be imagined both the people and institutions that I was planning to bequest what was then more meagre worldly possessions has changed. Now, through a combination of years of gainful employment, fortunate investments, and a relatively frugal lifestyle, I find myself of some means. I will have to leave something for those very incorporated associations that I helped establish with the hope that they will be ongoing concerns. Then there are those whom I care deeply for, and especially those who who have been dealt a pretty poor hand in life. Further, I must also find myself a new lawyer as a keeper of such paperwork as my current choice is no longer suitable. These are all matters that I will give some deeper consideration to in the next few weeks as events unfold.

"You talking to me? Or chewing a brick? Either way, you'll lose teeth". Ahh, Viz comics such memorable lines. Yes, yesterday I visited my dentist for a tooth removal. As mentioned previously, my teeth are well-cared for in waking hours. I hadn't been to the dentist in over ten years, but I have no signs of decay. Instead, courtesy of recent stresses in my personal life, I have unconsciously generated three vertically-cracked molars; "How bad is it? Well, I'm literally losing teeth over it". The one that is definitely dead was removed yesterday, courtesy of a cancelled appointment, a lot quicker and less painful than my last appointment as this tooth did not have a corkscrew-shaped root. Another two are being checked in a few weeks; one has my doubts about it, the other I am somewhat more optimistic. It's all a little annoying; often painful, time-consuming, and would be horrifically expensive for those on lower incomes (it's a scandal that dental isn't on Medicare). But I think the worse part is actually psychological, the loss serving as a very visceral reminder of the damage. There is good reason to have the steely stoic exterior for the mind and the stormy romantic interior for the body; "think thoughts, feel feelings". But time wounds all heels and there is an inevitable junction point between the two. In this case, my body remembers via its teeth.

It is appropriate then that today I have completed what is now a very extensive theory component of renewing my First Aid certificate. Workplaces are legally required to have first-aiders on call, and it's a role that I've willingly taken up for a number of years and, in a few incidents, have actually used the knowledge and skills acquired. Times being as they are, the content has changed somewhat. There is, for example, a lot more emphasis on the prevention of danger to the first-aider, such as preventing cross-infection and the use of resuscitation masks when performing CPR, or other means of avoiding direct contact. It contrasts strongly with the "do anything that works and use anything that's available" approach that I first learned many years ago and I can see the logic in both approaches, even if my old preferences still lie with the latter. Another welcome new component is the emphasis on first-aider stress and debriefing. Any emotional situation has the potential to affect the well-being of the victims, the first aiders, and bystanders, and whilst some stress in such situations almost inevitable, it can potentially lead to flashbacks, depression, panic attacks, even PTSD (it's in the name), etc.

One of the core lessons that is taught is not to step beyond your area of expertise; "When in doubt, seek medical advice" is how I was brought up, and it seems to the appropriate course of action. On that matter, I have enormous gratitude for the affirmation and support I have received from friends from a recent medical incident, especially those who are in medical professions themselves; nurses, doctors, specialists, psychologists, and, to be frank, probably some of the best in the country (who, for some curious reason, have deigned to be my friend as well). As was gently pointed out, yes it is a tough call, and perhaps imperfectly carried out, but it is better to act and err on the side of caution and leave the decisions to medical professionals, than not act and live with potentially much worse consequences. Differences between estranged friends can be patched up at a later date when cooler heads prevail, but it requires both parties to be in the land of the living. Frankly, that has to be the priority.

I must confess, I am a little overwhelmed by the wishes for a speedy recovery that I have received from many people, especially on Facebook. Now a week after I was under the knife, recovery from the operation is going really well with no complications and with a gradual removal of dressings. There are of course limitations on what I am allowed to do, and I will confess that I have missed a week of not be able to exercise hard with weights or cycling as is my preference. Even work this week I took fairly gently, making my way through translating bioinformatics tutorials from the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences. I have noted that my energy levels have been somewhat less than usual in the past week, the combination of healing and painkillers having their effect.

One thing I have been able to engage in quite successfully is various gaming-relating activities. Today, I completed write-ups of the last two sessions of Eclipse Phase, namely 28.2 Pets, Not Cattle and 28.3 Cheyenne Ghost Dance, all in preparation for tomorrow's session. Monday was also the 14th anniversary of my HeroQuest Glorantha game which witnessed Scene 166: The Breaking of the Fellowship. In addition, I have been spending what spare time I have working on the Cyberpunk 2020 Conference transcript, which will probably take another week to complete to be honest.

Some time has also been spent and writing up my presentation for tomorrow at the 1st Unitarian-Universalist Fellowship of Melbourne, on "The Year of the Rat: From Buddhist Pilgrimages to Extinction Events and Land-mine Detection Awards". I remember Jon Oxer and I concurring on a 10:1 ratio for giving talks if you making sure your research is accurate and the structure sound. That is, for a one-hour talk, you'll spend about ten hours writing it up. Sure, I can ad-lib with the best of them, but for this particular topic, I want references and plenty of them. The address will be given via Zoom, so if any are interested please DM me for details.

I've recently had a few data issues with the hosting company that I have several websites with; I used a block reseller account and a little while ago they shifted the main account without shifting the various domains underneath it. This has caused a few issues, to say the least, and the most recent being the discovery of many old mailing list archives are missing. The data issue discovery has only come about since I noticed that a vast quantity of my Eclipse Phase archives were missing; I ran a session today which went pretty well and followed on with some fairly dramatic events as the long-running game nears a conclusion after several years. I certainly hope they can resolve that as soon as possible.

As an appropriate issue, yesterday I finished a paper entitled Heterogeneous Compute, Reliable File System: The Spartan Approach to HPC Data Issues, a submission to the (now virtual) International Conference on High Performance Computing & Simulation, which pretty much celebrates the successes of the Spartan HPC system and explains the reasons for its most recent upgrades. Apart from that I've been heavily working through the new course material and will have two days of workshops in the coming week. In what is welcome news for all concerned, the University has decided to delay involuntary redundancies and will revisit the issue in 2021, which at least nobody receives a particularly unwelcome Christmas present this year.

Saturday was a bit of a write-off for me, as I did not react well to Friday night cocktails. Margaritas are jolly good fun and all, but they can pack a punch, and when you've neglected to have one's regular post-drink and pre-sleep formula (a litre of water, a vitamin B tablet, and two panadol) the aging body really feels it the following day. Even more oddly, today wasn't too great for me either. A few days ago I had stubbed my big toe, said "Ouch!" and thought nothing more of it. Today it was red, swelled, and incredibly painful to put any weight on it. So I've been far more sedentary than I would like, but necessary under the circumstances. I'll be very annoyed if I've somehow managed to give myself a more permanent injury.