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tcpipIn the last entry, I mentioned that I had been undergoing a severe toothache. Well, that's now subsided into a dull roar, a constant feeling of moderate background pain. I have been to the dentist and their diagnosis was not good. I have one tooth definitely lost, one tooth possibly lost, a third needs fillings at least, all at the back. Whilst I have zero tooth decay, in recent times I've been clenching my teeth in my sleep resulting in severe vertical cracks. Apparently, I've been under stress or something. Really, eh? It's an awful result because really I do look after my teeth in waking hours and yet the unconscious concerns create this disaster. Whilst a plate was recommended, I think I'll pass on that as I'd rather concentrate on dealing with the temporary unconscious issues instead. Further tests and operations are due in the coming month, so I guess I'll be making a third teeth-related entry on that matter. I look forward to the day when teeth can be regrown through stem-cells.
A friend suggested recently that I should try "living for yourself" as a means to deal with my current malaise. I treat such pop-psychology with contempt at the best of the times, especially as it ignores the economic constraints that real people have to live with, and have found it wanting. It is certainly appropriate for people who have been living under the shadow of others, being unsure of what they wanted from life, or filtering their words according to the perceived opinions of others. In other words, to use the existentialist term, those who have unauthentic lives (which can very much be due to circumstances). But that's really not me at all, and those who know me even a little bit understand and recognise that. I have very clear personal goals, based on my own desires and interests (especially including a sense of duty to others) and express my honest and deeply-considered opinions. If anything, I suffer the problem of not knowing how to be an unauthentic person even in a tactical sense (which is why a career in politics had to be largely ruled out).
As is usually the case, there is an update here on matters of teaching and learning. These past few days I've conducted three workshops, Introduction to Linux and HPC, Advanced Linux and Shell Scripting for HPC, and Regular Expressions in Linux, along with the content for my thrice-weekly classes at the University of Rojava. I'm more than half-way through the latter and, it pains me to say, I think I'm going to fail the lot of them. I understand the incredibly difficult circumstances that they are operating under, but I have to grade their academic performance according to that criteria, and not according to my sympathies. From the learning side of the equation, I'm making progress on the second chapter of my MHEd thesis, especially looking at a literature review of technology and education. Finally, in the interest of my studies in macroeconomics, this week I wrote a short essay "Two Cheers for Modern Monetary Theory".
A friend suggested recently that I should try "living for yourself" as a means to deal with my current malaise. I treat such pop-psychology with contempt at the best of the times, especially as it ignores the economic constraints that real people have to live with, and have found it wanting. It is certainly appropriate for people who have been living under the shadow of others, being unsure of what they wanted from life, or filtering their words according to the perceived opinions of others. In other words, to use the existentialist term, those who have unauthentic lives (which can very much be due to circumstances). But that's really not me at all, and those who know me even a little bit understand and recognise that. I have very clear personal goals, based on my own desires and interests (especially including a sense of duty to others) and express my honest and deeply-considered opinions. If anything, I suffer the problem of not knowing how to be an unauthentic person even in a tactical sense (which is why a career in politics had to be largely ruled out).
As is usually the case, there is an update here on matters of teaching and learning. These past few days I've conducted three workshops, Introduction to Linux and HPC, Advanced Linux and Shell Scripting for HPC, and Regular Expressions in Linux, along with the content for my thrice-weekly classes at the University of Rojava. I'm more than half-way through the latter and, it pains me to say, I think I'm going to fail the lot of them. I understand the incredibly difficult circumstances that they are operating under, but I have to grade their academic performance according to that criteria, and not according to my sympathies. From the learning side of the equation, I'm making progress on the second chapter of my MHEd thesis, especially looking at a literature review of technology and education. Finally, in the interest of my studies in macroeconomics, this week I wrote a short essay "Two Cheers for Modern Monetary Theory".
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Date: 2021-04-03 08:22 pm (UTC)Whereas someone important did once tell me that this is what I needed to do, and I'm 35 and still working on it.
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Date: 2021-04-04 08:02 am (UTC)