Lev Lafayette's journal

In August last year I started jotting a few notes on the philosophy of suicide, and today I completed this short essay for Lightbringers. It is not meant to be read as an appeal or advocacy, but rather a matter-of-fact examination of absurdity, of social influences (including the risk of reading and writing such an essay), along with contemporary justifications. The conclusion notes that the politics have shifted, a process that has literally taken hundreds of years, to the extent that most people and increasingly most jurisdictions, accept that medically-assisted suicide is legitimate to provide dignity and agency to those in incurable physical pain. But, I ask, why do we not do the same for those in mental and emotional distress? Unfortunately, I suspect that it is because our society still has not learned to understand that such illnesses can be just as debilitating as physical versions and can cause just as much pain and suffering to the subject. My potential explorations on the subject are far from exhausted, but it is not a subject that I feel that I want to spend too much time on at the moment. Whilst I believe that I have the moral courage to do so, the intellectual stress of writing about this topic in my own emotional state is probably not entirely risk-free.

The unfolding of time does always bring a few surprises on the way, and yesterday it made its appearance in the form of a toothache. There had been a slight nagging pain for a couple of days with an occasional short burst, but yesterday afternoon it went into overdrive. On three occasions I almost passed out from the pain, so you get an idea of what it's like. I had been invited over to caseopaya's new abode for dinner, but I'm afraid I didn't make a great guest as I was moaning and groaning, the pain alleviated by a cold compress, and the collection of some clove oil and various anti-inflammatories to supplement gargling with salt-water and hydrogen peroxide. Running the HPC and Linux workshop today in such a state was quite interesting, as I had to rabbit on for hours whilst holding the compress against my cheek. Tomorrow night I'll be at the dentist's (first visit in 11 years), and hopefully, they'll sort everything out. I am predicting infection through 40-year-old dodgy amalgam. Seriously, I believe we orphans were experimented upon by various wings of the medical profession, and this is an example. After all, who were we going to complain to?

On the topic of various endings, Sunday was the final session of my Eclipse Phase campaign, which has run for over five years - two of the players (no, not characters, players) have died in the course of the game. The final scenario involved the PC Proxies in a desperate position in Cheyenne Mountain, out-numbered and out-gunned with defeat looking increasingly certain. But from their initiative, they were able to make a call for more resources, and bring some balance to the big conflict. But the real tipping point was when an old enemy, the alien Factors, turned up to fight on their side, and victory was achieved. There was a big ceremony, transhumanity had been saved, and whilst there were certainly new tensions rising, but nothing would ever be the same again. It was certainly a story worth telling, but you know, after five years it had to come to an end as well.