Eurovision: a viewer's guide

Date: 2006-05-25 03:19 am (UTC)
If it ever was about 'the music', I think that quaint notion died in the sixties. Since then it has been about showing up, because it's expected that you at least try, but not necessarily trying too hard, because if you win then you have to host it next year, which could be far more expensive than it's worth (I've heard a rumour that Ireland deliberately sends third-rate contestants every year, because they don't want to risk accidentaly winning). But you don't want to do too badly either, because who wants to be beaten by Armenia or Estonia, even if you don't take it seriously.

Therefore the result is a competition packed with groups or individuals tuned and primped to be cute, fluffy and inoffensive, and songs carefully monitored to contain nothing but the words "Love", "Happiness" and "Respect" in whatever combination and translation, surgically removed from any concept of 'good taste' or 'dignity'. Legs and breasts rate well, as do inoffensive SNAGs. Every so often you'll see an abberation slip through the defenses, like the Israeli transsexual winner a few years ago, or indeed, Lordi. They can usually be picked by the outrage when they win their own country's play-off. Most of the contestants seem to take the whole farce seriously. Occasionally, they patently don't. (Lithuania, I'm looking at you. "We are the winners", indeed.)

It's basically a huge carnival of bad taste, masochism and schadenfreude, all wrapped up in glitter and neon.

Most of us are not laughing with the contestants, if you get my meaning. Sir Terry Wogan certainly wasn't.
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