Of Gratitude and Imagined Worlds

I must express enormous gratitude to the friends true and good who offered support on my last journal entry; some via LJ/DW, some by 'phone, some in person (such a lovely déjeuner français, thank you Jac and Damien), and many via FB or Messanger. The writing was a cathartic experience in its own right and the outpouring of love and concern was warranted and sincerely appreciated. It certainly helped my thoughts move from considering finding a permanent solution to what is (hopefully) a temporary problem; I have reflections on that matter as well, which I shall post shortly. I must also deeply thank those with knowledge of the psychological sciences who contacted me as well (OK, so one of them is the best person in the state on their relevant sub-area). Interestingly, they came to the same diagnosis of mon amour, and curiously one that has been overlooked. I must confess, to my shame, I hesitated to wonder whether this relationship, in any form, is worth the significant effort required. The answer is of course it is worth it; what sort of friend would I be, if I do not offer compassion and kindness, inspiration through a combination of passion and knowledge, dedication, stability, security, and even sanctuary?

A light-hearted passing comment from my expert friend in the science of the mind, that I seek phantasy worlds as my escapism, also caused me to pause for thought. I was just about to go watch an episode or two of "Star Trek: Discovery", as I have done for end-of-evening viewing for the past few weeks. But, I insisted, I am not a Trekkie (despite having a bookshelf on the subject). Which does raise my relationship with fantasy fiction in general. For the most part, I consider myself a practical and realistic person. But I also have, since a child, found myself deeply in love with mythology and especially those of the Hellenistic world. But it is not the nature spirits, the monsters, or angry and jealous Gods, that I find most enticing, any more than the futuristic technologies in science fiction and The Culture in particular, even though they have value in themselves. Rather, it is the extraordinary insight into the human mind and of the deeper ontologies and epistemologies of reality. The recent experiences have brought my dual tendencies towards fatalism and optimism to the fore (the latter is irrational, but also a coping mechanism). The Hellenic story of Pandora reminds us that the future is (thankfully) unknown, for it is the human spirit that we cannot live without hope, and from the Islamic world the parable that a lot can happen in a year; maybe the horse will learn to sing.